This came almost immediately after I resigned our game when he finally played after 6 days:
Jared, on another game: I can spell "youth" if I had somewhere to put it.
Me: It'll just take you 6 days to put it somewhere though.
Jared: Much like you with my penis?
Then, 1 minute later:
Jared: You missed me, didn't you?
Me: Go back to Louisiana.