Saturday, May 14, 2011
Jared: if I were an abusive husband, id beat Sheila to show you what could happen to you. Oh, Mehgan burned dinner again? Time to cut off Sheila's tail. Oh wait, for her to be able to burn dinner, she has to cook. (From the other room now:) do I have to come to the other room to see the dirty look you're giving me?
Yes. Yes he had to.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
We're watching the movie "Troy" and Orlando Bloom says "till the day they burn my body, I will love you" or something. Jared decided to add his own script to that conversation.
Jared: till the day they burn my body, I'll love you. But just till I get one burn. If I even so much get a burn from taking a falafel out of the oven, you're gone, bitch.
Jared: lets name our son Agamemnon Priam. "I may be 10 but I'm old and crotchety"
Between our crotchedy son Agamemnon and our whore daughter Amelia Bedelia, we'll prove to be great parents.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
jared: we'll name her amelia bedelia cash. so she'll be ABC and in college, she'll be strung out on drugs and resort to prostitution and her pimp will call her The Alphabet Ho and that's how she'll pay for college
me:we're not gonna pay for her college?
jared: no we will but she's gonna use it all for drugs
im glad he has such high hopes for our future possible daughter