Jared: you're the most gullible person i know. 'Mehgan, of course my dick is 10 inches. you've just been using the wrong rulers. you have to stop buying your measuring tools at Dollar Tree.' It's almost like I had to marry you so that no one else would take your innocence away.
Me: I haven't had innocence since I was 14.
Jared: Ok, fine. Your idiocy.