After a discussion of how he's always wondering what I'll be pissed about:
Me: how do you not cower around me?
Jared: because I'm not scared of you. I'm not scared of anything but spider webs
Me: you're scared of spider webs???
Jared: yes. Not what's in the web. Just the webs. You get me in a spider web and I turn into a 3-year-old girl. They're the ickiest things around. Yes, I said icky.