Me: are you happy with my body?
Jared: I guess
Me: I'm not too big for you?
Jared: I've done bigger
Me: thanks. I mean, you're happy with my size and how I look
Jared: why are you asking me this?
Me: bc I'm fishing
Jared: don't fish. You already caught me (that's his attempt at being sweet)
Me: I'm fishing for compliments
Jared: every time I grab your butt, that's a compliment
Me: I want words with adjectives
Jared: I like your buttly butt
Me: that's dumb
Jared: you're womanly. I like that. You're not rail thin
Jared: that's just a nice word for fat
Me: I am fat
Jared: you're not fat. Youre obese
Jared: what? That's an adjective
Me: (moves to kick him with my unshaven leg. He rubs my leg)
Jared: ugh! Ok you're hairy. Hairy is an adjective.