Jared is a sleep talker. And he is very vocal when he gets started. I like to engage him, mostly to see what sorts of gems will come about. This was a couple months ago but I just stumbled upon it on his Facebook wall, where I usually post them so he and the rest of his friends list will know what I get to live with. So enjoy this one.
Jared: I gotta check the ticket stubs.
Me: for what?
Me: are we going to Woodstock?
Jared: yes. .Me: who's playing?
Jared: Steve carrell.
Me: he plays music now?
Me: do you like his music?
Jared: baby I'm just fucking with you.
Jared: (loud fart). That's why.