This is an oldie but a goodie. Most of the time that Jared talks in his sleep, his eyes are open and he appears as though he's awake because he's talking quite well and, well, he's looking dead at me. So sometimes i don't realize that he's actually talking in his sleep.
Jared, opening his eyes at my entrance to the bedroom: I'm trying to figure out who you are
Me: who else would it be?
Jared: 15 hotties
Me: anyone in particular?
Jared: 15 lookalikes .Me: what would you do if there were 15 people who looked like me?
Jared: I'd do them
Me: where would you start?
Jared: I'd do them alphabetically starting in the middle. I'd start with the N's and would work my way back to the A's.
Well at least I know he wants me and only me!
Also shown by this sleep-talking conversation:
Jared: go away. You're too hot.
Jared: hot as in sexy. Too sexy. I might attack you. Too sexy.
Me: how am I too sexy?
Jared: standing by that red bull display. Too sexy. Sexy.
Redbull not only gives people wings, but it also gives them extreme sexiness.