I saw a picture recently of when Jared was in 4th grade, standing in front of a science project board that said "Gum: Which flavor lasts the longest?" He said he came up with that project the night before it was due, and after the fair, he was told he was better and smarter than that. So the next year, in 5th grade, he set out to prove everyone right: he did his science project on hydrodynamics. At 10 years old, he came up with an elaborate science fair project that had everyone impressed and telling him he was going places, and even that his project was too advanced to be entered into the county science fair. Everyone told him he'll grow up to do great things: be a doctor, scientist or lawyer. Something "smart."
When I asked Jared why, if he had so much potential, he isn't one of those things, he gave this answer:
"I discovered pussy when I was 19. If I had been gay, I'd be rich by now."
This is why, dear readers, I am not married to someone rich and talented. Instead, I'm married to a horny guy.