Two Mehgans

Me, licking the cake batter off the beater: God this stuff is so good that I'm wearing it. It's all over my shirt.
Jared: Nice going, fatty. You know, when I said I wanted to be with two women, I didn't want you to be both of them.

Mehgan-ing someone

Me: "Jew" could be a verb
Jared: You're a verb. As in "I'll Mehgan the shit out of you."
Me: What's the definition?
Jared: Making someone eat a lot of cake.
Me: Why is my name the verb for that?
Jared: Because you make people eat lots of cake. Or better yet, "Mehgan: to force someone to eat something that they don't want." You do that a lot.

I do.

cake

jared: hell hath no fury like mehgan when you get between her and cake.

dick.