Jared the gamer

Jared got a new computer game tonight called "Civilizations" or some such crap. Here are some random lines that he's spouted off throughout playing the game.

"I think I just declared war on a whale."
"I created the alphabet and want to trade it with someone for their mathematics. They said that wasn't enough. Yeah, good luck trying to do complex math without that X."
"Napolean Bonaparte is declaring war against me? Bring it on, you fucking midget."
"Is it sad that Ghengis Khan is my only ally?"
"How the fuck did someone else create Christianity? I'm not even finished creating Judaism just yet!! I guess Jesus really wasn't a Jew."

Such is the life of the wife of a gamer.

69 and 31

Me: I taught a girl at work how to make change tonight. I showed her that every number out of a 100 has a pair to make 100. So like 54 pairs with 46, 98 pairs with 2, 31 pairs with 69, etc.
Jared: Now I know what I'm gonna get you for your birthday in 2 years. When you turn 31, I'm gonna say that "hey, you know what 31 pairs with? That's right."
Me: And you're gonna make me 69 for the entire year I'm 31?
Jared: No, actually I was gonna just say that night only but i like the way you think. And then when I turn 31, oh yeah!

These are birthday presents to look forward to, according to my husband.